|
Ask Brenda: Work Hard Smile Pretty
November 05, 2007
Before my father became a financial planner at age fifty, he worked as an auto mechanic. When I went home over the years, he always checked the tires, filled the fluids and pumped the gas. Before I drove off, he would say, “Work hard, smile pretty.”
“You, too,” I would yell out the window as I drove away.
On my twenty-first birthday, he gave me a plaque that displayed his quote along with a smiley face. Staring at those words over the years, I wondered what he meant. When I asked him about it he simply said,“You’ll figure it out.”
Since I was a hairstylist, I decided he must have meant to work hard cutting hair, and to smile pretty no matter how I felt that day. I figured that true professionals always put on a happy face so I applied blush, eye shadow, lipstick, and fixed my hair so I wouldn’t scare the customers. Work Hard, Smile Pretty.
After I bought my first salon, I worked long hours. It was demanding; not only was I the boss, but the accountant, human resource manager and janitor. It may not have been an entirely glamorous job, but it was extremely rewarding. I hung the plaque at my desk for inspiration. My dad worked hard at his job and I resolved to do the same. He didn’t complain and almost always had a big smile on his face. I hoped to follow his example. Work Hard, Smile Pretty.
Later, after I sold the first business, got married and had two children, I came across the quote again. Now I knew what it meant. Having children is tough and the midnight feedings are grueling. I still smile as I fold laundry and cook meals that take hours to prepare, yet are eaten in mere minutes. Sharing a joke with my children and admiring the people they are becoming always makes me smile. Work Hard, Smile Pretty.
At thirty-nine years old, I dealt with colorectal cancer and the surgery to save my life was extensive. For a few weeks, I walked the fence between a lush valley with spring flowers on one side and a black abyss on the other. The toughest job I ever had was to get well and not fall into the abyss. Each day I worked vigorously, hoping, trusting and praying that all would be okay. On my strong days, I even braved wearing mascara, hoping I wouldn’t cry it off. I smiled when I didn’t feel like it because I didn’t want my children to be scared.
The changes to my body would be my new normal, but would I ever feel confident to go out in public again? I was just starting to get into comedy. Most comedians worried about delivering new material. I worried about pooping on the audience. How could I even begin to feel pretty? Smile anyway? Fake it ‘til you make it? Then I realized that having an ostomy didn’t take away my “prettiness.” I started to notice that when I smiled and laughed, I did feel better. Work Hard, Smile Pretty.
At fifty years old, I am grateful for every day. My curiosity and awe has only increased as I meet more people and hear their stories. I feel blessed to be well in mind, body and spirit. I changed careers, stayed married to the same man and raised our children to become respectful and enjoyable teenagers. I laugh a lot and am grateful for everything, including the hard times. They have made me the woman I am today and I would not trade them for anything. Today, as I look at my father’s saying, I finally grasp its meaning. People work hard at so many things—caring for an aging parent, attending college or raising a family on a limited budget.
Smiling pretty is not about looking good. It’s not about designer clothes, cool cars, the biggest house or having wrinkles removed. Smiling pretty is about compassion, sharing your true self and doing things for others. When you live your life this way, your inner beauty cannot help but burst through. My dad’s quote might have been spoken in jest, but he demonstrated the larger meaning daily. Work Hard, Smile Pretty.
Brenda Elsagher is a national speaker, comic, and author of, If the Battle is Over, Why am I Still in Uniform? and, I’d Like to Buy a Bowel Please! Order books at www.livingandlaughing.com. She welcomes questions or comments for her Secure Start column at Brenda@livingandlaughing.com.
|
|
