Laugh with Brenda: Accessorize the Positive
June 30, 2009

By Brenda Elsagher
 
When a woman thinks of accessories, she might think of earrings and necklaces, perhaps a pretty scarf. Shoes and purses seem more like necessities than accessories, but then again, the pumps with the fish swimming in the heels would fall under just plain silly. Purses on the other hand are practically a requirement, especially if you're a mom. Who else will have the bandage you need, the stick of gum, or the loose change for the toll? It wouldn't surprise me if she had spare diapers, a camera, a tool set, and dinner for four in there. Moms seem to have it all.
  
Men might think of accessories as the latest piece of hunting or fishing equipment, or that essential putter that will make all the difference in their golf game. I know my nephews used to think clean socks and underwear were accessories on camping trips. They never packed them because, after all, they had to have room for their rods, reels, and bait.
 
They say accessories make the room. That tapestry you found in Turkey or the Elvis look-a-like doll from your visit to Memphis can add just the right touch. My husband's Egyptian room has moved way past accessorizing and into museum status. If you want to experience a small version of the Cairo museum without ever leaving the USA, just pop on over to the Elsagher household. You'll find a couple of six-foot sarcophaguses there. I told my husband we'll just put a few handles on one of those things and bury him in it. I'm practical and can find a double use for just about everything.
 
When it comes to living with an ostomy, accessories are another matter. My family would say the best accessory I use when traveling with them is the m9 Odor Eliminator Spray. It's an amazing room deodorizer. We use it more for my husband than me and he doesn't even have an ostomy!
 
There is a story from my second book, I'd Like to Buy a Bowel Please!, about my friend Shirley who is known as the accessorizing queen (AQ). She is all about glitz and glamour.
 
We were talking about it being my anniversary of being an ostomate. In celebration, Shirley suggested we get some bling-bling for my ostomy or at least glitter up my bag. She says, "If you can't lose it, decorate around it. It's all about accessorizing. Who needs a Louis Vuitton bag when you have a Brenda bag already?"
 
If I was going to ask Shirley for some creative suggestions for accessorizing ostomy appliances, the first thing she'd say is, "Build it around the holiday. Jazz it up girl. Where are those felt stick-on hearts for Valentine's Day? You can get bunnies for spring, sailboats or starfish for summer. Add some decorative leaves for fall and reindeer for winter. I've got you covered. Let's make this fun!"
 
When I told her there were already fun pouch covers in lots of styles, she was really excited.
 
"You mean camouflage and sports team covers for men? Rhinestones and lace for the women? Fairytales and cartoons for the kids? I am all over that."
 
We build our accessories from the inside out. No one has to see them but us, but we'll feel better. The AQ has boxes of accessories for all occasions. She knows how to make every one of them even more fun with the little extras she wears. It's all non-essential, but it makes a difference. I think she may be on to something there. I'm going to look for some stickers right now. I'll be in Washington DC soon. Maybe some red, white, and blue glitter to liven things up a bit.
 
Brenda Elsagher is a thirteen-year colorectal cancer survivor and living life well with a colostomy. She is a comic, national keynote speaker and author of three books. You can watch her comedy and order her books (including her latest one, Bedpan Banter) through her website at www.livingandlaughing.com.