Ask Brenda: It's Never Too Late!
January 04, 2009

By Brenda Elsagher "For my 40th birthday, I'm going to do standup comedy!" I declared in front of my friends after a jumbo margarita. But within weeks, I started having a relentless pain in my rear end — and no, it wasn't my husband; I thought it must be a hemorrhoid. I made an appointment and six weeks after my vow to become a comic, I was diagnosed with cancer of the rectum. I didn't see anything funny about that... at first. Three weeks later, I had surgery to have my "plumbing rearranged." Reminded of my goal as I recouped from surgery, a friend came over to type funny stories since sitting was a challenge. You see why I had to become a standup comic? I couldn't sit down! I took a class to learn how to write and perform comedy. Months later, three days after my 40th birthday party, I performed standup comedy at the club. Encouraged to try out for the Twin Cities Funniest Person contest, this non-hip mom was in shock when I achieved the title over 150 other contestants and won $1000.

Next, at age 41, after owning my own business for twenty years, I had the itch to go to college. The class entitled "How to Write a Major Project" propelled me into writing about my experience with an ostomy. A year later, my first book, If the Battle is Over, Why am I Still in Uniform? was published. Shortly after that, Hollister became supportive in helping me spread the word about colon cancer prevention and how to have an amazing life living with an ostomy.

Hollister encourages new ideas and long-range vision from the patient's perspective and helped sponsor my second book, I'd Like to Buy a Bowel Please! This May, Bedpan Banter will be published, which will include inspiring and humorous general medical stories from various writers. Hollister has given thousands of books away to help educate health professionals and the general public all over the world about living an abundant life with an ostomy.

"I wouldn't want my rectum back if it meant trading in the great experiences and friendships I've had along the way."

In 2006, Hollister joined Get Your Guts in Gear: The Ride for Crohn's and Colitis. Not only did they sponsor the event, but sent manager Mark Kennedy to do the three-day, 210-mile ride in Seattle with me. I was grateful that he fit it into his busy schedule and he was a joy and support on the ride.

One program Hollister has now, which they didn't have 13 years ago when I got a colostomy, is called the Secure Start Program. Designed with the patient in mind, the WOC Nurse prescribes the right products before patients leave the hospital. A few days later, they receive their kit along with awesome phone support.

Writing this column for the Secure Start Newsletter is a joy. I get e-mails and phone calls from readers across the country. Also, if you haven't checked out www.C3Life.com, please do. I write a weekly blog with true tales of my exciting day-to-day reality; not too earth shaking, but hopefully a little witty.

When I received the awful news about having colorectal cancer, I wouldn't have thought that I'd have a fantastic life. I don't think I'd even want my rectum back if it meant I'd have to trade in the experiences I've had or the great people I've met along the way. For some reason, I always had the courage to talk about this difficult subject. Too many people are afraid to leave their homes and live their lives. Bowel diseases are a part of our human condition. Get out there and go after what you want! Thank you, Hollister, for taking such an active role in helping patients deal with our medical issues positively…the encouraging impact on my life continues.

Check out my website at www.livingandlaughing.com! It's packed with more stories, tons of free articles and there's a place to order books. You can even watch a video of me if you need a laugh.

Brenda Elsagher is a national keynote speaker, author of If the Battle is Over, Why Am I Still in Uniform? and I'd Like to Buy a Bowel Please! Are you a closet writer? Please submit a funny or inspiring medical story to Brenda for her next book, Bedpan Banter. Go to www.livingandlaughing.com for more details. She also welcomes comments and questions at 1.952.882.9882.